Currently Listening Nothing Is Sound By Switchfoot see related

When it rains, it pours

You know those times when everything in life just seems to be going wrong? Yeah, I'm currently in the midst of one of those times right now. All the little things that could go wrong do, and I wonder how long this will last.

For a psychology major, I certainly cannot make accurate personality judgments. It's almost like I should figure out what my perception of a person is, then go with the exact opposite. I'm sure I'd be more correct that way. It's amazing how you can be so wrong about someone, especially when they end up disappointing you. I'm starting to think the only emotion I can feel is anger. That is not healthy in the slightest. But at least I'm taking a much needed reevaluation of my life.

Everything happens for a reason.

Right?

The shadow proves the sunshine...

Currently Listening The District Sleeps Alone Tonight By The Postal Service see related

Homecoming week

Homecoming week is always incredibly stressful, but it's got to be my favorite part of college. Every sorority gets paired with a fraternity to work on stuff throughout the week. This year we're paired with Delt, and they've definitely put a lot of work into everything. Our lawn decs are going to look amazing. I've been working on Yell like Hell. It's a big cheerleading competition. We've been practicing a ton, but it's been a good time.

Perhaps the best part of Homecoming week is Midnight Snack. Several hundred kids lined up outside of Atherton Union, and at midnight we all ran in screaming and yelling and pushing each other to get food from Ritter's, McDonald's, Qdoba, Steak 'n Shake, HotBox, etc. It was insane. Plus, I ran into my long, lost friend, Tommy Turner, whom I haven't seen since May. I got really excited and screamed. That's pretty crazy because I usually don't show that much emotion, lol. So, yeah. It was a good time. Oh, and my little sis is here visiting. She transferred from Butler to Birmingham Southern or something like that in Alabama, so I was pretty stoked to see her. I'm obviously pretty hyper, and I feel like my vocabulary is lacking, so sorry about that.

Off to Rose this weekend for Adelphia's Oktoberfest. I think I'm going to speak German all night. I knew those 14 credit hours of German would come in handy someday.

Ich habe meine hose vergessen...

Currently Listening This Time Around By Hanson Sure About It see related

It's about stepping up

I don't like awkwardness. Who does? Unfortunately, I'm really good at getting myself into awkward situations. On top of that, I have friends who will call me out for the awkwardness of the situation during the awkward situation itself. Sufficiently confused yet?

Me too. Apparently I'm "really transparent for a psychology major." I am also "manipulative and deceptive." And I need to "figure out what everyone else already knows about me and admit it to myself." Can I not be unsure of how I feel? Is this a black and white issue? I don't think so.

Today I learned that attraction (or the feeling of liking or loving another person) is caused by increases in dopamine and norepinephrine and decreases in serotonin levels in the brain. So, boys, (I'm referring to previously mentioned guy friends) this is nothing more than the inexplicable change of a couple chemicals in my brain. So bite me.

Bottom line: If you want me, step up. For once, there are a lot more options available to me. I'm the girl. I'm not going to pursue you, especially when it is apparently abundantly clear to everyone else exactly how I feel. I'm sick of putting up with bullshit, and now I know what I deserve. I won't settle for less.

Ok, I was a little more fed up with that whole deal than what I thought. Sorry about that. Also my apologies if you don't understand just what it is that I'm talking about. It's basically me in denial. Whatevs. In other news, my roommate Lyndsey is kick ass (she told me to say that). But really, she pretty much rocks. "So take that you sons of bitches." (She says that all the time, and it just feels appropriate to post).

Rock it,

J 

Currently Listening How to Grow a Woman from the Ground By Chris Thile Wayside (Back in Time) see related

Seriously?

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the road that led to world domination, and that has made all the difference."

That makes me laugh.

But on a more serious note, I feel like there are several different directions my life could take now, and I'm not really sure which one is best. I don't know what grad schools I'm going to apply to, or even in what area of psychology. I mean, I have another year to think, but it's going to fly by. And then there's the other stuff...friends, Alpha Chi, etc.

While writing this, it just hit me how ridiculous it is to be worrying. The obvious answer to my predicament is to pray about it, have faith, and trust God.

Besides, without uncertainty, life would be so boring.

So, this is pretty much pointless at present, but at least now we all know that not only can I help to solve other people's problems, but I can even sucessfully work through and solve some of my own.

woot woot.

Not like I pictured it

It seems that things tend to go in circles. The same mistakes get repeated over and over again. I'm reading The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis for about the 5th time. It's about temptation, from a tempters point of view, and it really makes me think about things from a different perspective. One of the things in the book that really makes sense to me is the thought that we as humans, as Christians, go through periods of undulation. When we dedicate or rededicate our lives to God, we feel that emotional high, and we feel God's presence at all times. But eventually he has to take His hand away and let us walk on our own. He is always with us, but it is His will that we make our own decisions (after consulting Him). Of course, we can't base our relationship with God on emotion because when that emotional high is gone, we still have to strive to grow in our relationship with God. Even in those periods of dryness, when we think we have been forsaken, we must look to Him. When we are no longer emotionally desiring to follow him we must still intend to do so. It is in these periods of dryness that we grow.

It's amazing what situations God uses to get your attention. It's not always bad, just strange. I opened my eyes and saw myself going back to the old me. Change happens gradually, so I didn't even notice it. I was not put on this Earth to live for me, I was put on this Earth to live for Him.

May this post be in deepest sincerity with no ulterior motive